Avengers Tower: Probably the Worst Idea Ever
by booklover613
Summary: The Avengers, attempting to live together, and the craziness they get into. No slash, but slight pepperony and later an m/m couple. (Not going to say who, kinda spoils a bit of the plot. Sorry.) Sorta-complete, for now.
1. prologue

**hey guys! i just got back from camp, and while i didn't write as much as i'd hoped, i have a new story. yay! at least, i think that deserves a yay. you guys will tell me after you read this chapter. also, i decided to add 1 more chapter at the end of my other story, the percy jackson/avengers crossover. it'll be up either tonight or tomorrow morning. hopefully sooner rather than later.**  
**now, i know there are a million and one versions of "all the avengers living together in the tower". yeah, i know. but they're just so much fun to write. so, i decided to try my luck at making one. this is just the prologue, obviously, but i hope to have the next chapter up soon. theres gonna be no slash, but there may be tony/pepper and clint/natasha implied, somewhere along the way, i'm not that sure. i also don't really have any idea where this is going. it may wind up being just funny stories, with 0 overall plot arch. i haven't decided yet. but please, read, and let me know in reviews! thanks!**

**this chapter had been fixed!  
**

* * *

Tony Stark didn't know how or why, but somehow, Stark tower had become Avengers tower. Yeah, he'd invited Bruce to stay with him, but he liked the guy, and Bruce actually knew how to handle technology without breaking it. Unlike some of the other members of the Avengers, cough cough, Rodgers and Thor, cough cough.

It had all started a month after the attack on Manhattan. Stark Tower had been fully rebuilt, and Tony and Pepper had decided they liked living in Manhattan more than California. Banner had moved out, claiming he had some loose ends he had to tie up back in India, and promised to be back soon. What kind of loose ends someone could have in India, Tony could not imagine, but he didn't argue. Bruce had only been gone a few days when _they_ showed up.

Tony had been sound asleep when he awoke to the tower literally shaking.

"Wuuuuh?" He asked groggily. He had stayed up way to late and had way too much to drink the night before to be up this early. Wait, what time was it anyway?

"Jarvis, what time is it? And what the hell was that?"

"It is 10 o clock eastern standard time." And cool, British voice answered. "And if you are referring to the shaking that we just experienced, there is a man on the roof, who is slamming into the building with a large hammer. Should I let him in?"

Thor? What the hell? What was he doing here at this ungodly hour? **(pun intended)**

Tony sighed. "I'll go get him." If the god heard Jarvis's voice pop out of nowhere, he might get nervous and attempt to attack the building with his hammer. His tower had just been rebuilt. He wasn't in the mood to fix it again.

"Tony, what going on?" Pepper asked as she walked into their bedroom. She was already dressed and probably had had an entire day already. He hated morning people.

"Mr. Oh-so-powerful thunder god decided to drop by. I'm going to find out why the hell he's here."

She pursed her lips. "Just make sure he doesn't break anything. I think there's some pop tarts in the cupboard if he's hungry. I have a meeting with the zoning board for the new tower in Chicago. See you later." She gave him a peck on the lips and left the room, heels clip clopping on the stone floor.

Tony rolled out of bed and made himself a large caffeinated coffee. By the time he reached the roof, he was fully awake. And had a huge headache. Damn the stupid hangover.

He found Thor pounding the roof with his hammer, Meowern or something like that. "Thor! What a, err, pleasant surprise. How are you? Why in the world are you here?"

"Man of Iron!" The god of thunder bellowed. "It is good to see you! The man with the eye of a hawk informed me that you required my presence at your domain immediately!" Thor expression grew puzzled. "How do you enter? In Asgard I just knock with Mijiorn and every building opens!"

Tony was going to kill Barton.

"Thor, here on Midguard we knock with our fists. Actually, in your case, just tap on a door if you want to come in. No need breaking it down. And Barton wasn't serious. I didn't need you here."

Thor looked crestfallen, like a kicked puppy. "Oh. I-I-I'm sorry, son of Stark. I didn't know-"

Tony sighed. What the hell. Maybe while the god was here he could help him adjust a little bit more to modern society. Then he could surprise Barton how he had changed his evil little joke to something that was actually fun. The genius grinned as he plotted, but his thoughts were quickly interrupted.

"Man of iron? What is this magic box?" Tony turned to see Thor attempting to rip open the doors to the elevator. Tony sighed. He definitely had his work cut out for him.

**this is a line breaker**

Stark had just been showing Thor the wonders of cat videos when Jarvis announced, "Sir, Agent Barton requests entry to the tower. Agent Romanoff is with him. Should I let them in?"

Tony barely glanced up from the tablet he was using. "Let them in, Jarvis." He was ready to show the archer that Tony was actually happy that Thor tries to break into his tower this morning. Or, at least, pretend to. Teaching the Asguardian to use any form of technology was a lot harder than it seemed.

Moments later, the elevator dinged open, revealing Clint and Natasha, each rolling a large suitcase behind them. They left their bags in the front entryway and made the way over to the open area where the two men where sitting. Barton plopped down onto the couch near Thor, and put his feet up. He grabbed the remote control, and began surfing channels. "Anything good on?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah sure, make yourself right at home." Tony said sarcastically.

Clint grinned. "I'd hoped you'd say that. Me and Tasha were thinking of staying a while."

Before Tony could say anything, Thor jumped up. "Son of Barton! It is so good to see you! The Man of Iron has showed me how to use this wonderful thing called a tablet, and now I can kill pigs! Watch as I destroy their kingdom!" Thor let out a booming laugh as he sling-shotted another bird into the pigs 'kingdom'. Tony grinned at Clint.

"Well, at least he found something that he liked in technology. Not much brainpower needed to play angry birds."

Natasha shook her head as she sat down next to Clint. "You boys are so immature."

They sat for a minute before Tony finally asked. "So now you two are moving in?"  
"Yup." Clint said, not really paying attention.

"And who exactly gave you the right to move in here?"

Clint smirked. "Fury's idea, not mine. If you want to complain to someone about it, go to him. I'm just along for the ride. Apparently he got the idea from some comic book series when he was a kid, about a bunch of super heroes living together, if you can believe that."

Tony shrugged. "Hey, how hard could it be? As long as you guys let me keep the top 5 floors, and stay away from my lab, and stay away from me completely, then I don't really mind."

"No, Stark, this isn't going to work like that. You have to be a team player." A new voice called out. Nick Fury stepped into the living room where they were all sitting.

"Jarvis how did he get in here?" Tony called out into thin air.

"I'm sorry, sir." The A. I answered." It seems my protocols have been overridden."

"You know, Fury, you could at least knock." Fury ignored him. "The Captain will be here tomorrow, and Banner is returning from India next week. As of now, this building is Avengers tower, an official S.H.E.I.L.D building. That means we have unlimited access. And yes, Stark, we can do will be coming in to check on you later in the week. You all have to live together, cohesively. No fighting. I'll see you in a few days." And with that, Fury left.

Tony sighed. "One of these days..."

Clint just grinned. "So where's my room?"


	2. Chapter 1

**hey guys, i'm back, i know this chapter isn't as long, sorry about that. i originally thought it was much longer, since its 4 typed pages, buts its almost all dialogue, so, yeah.**  
**also, i threw Loki into this chapter because he's fun and was needed in this chapter. maybe ill include a story of how he became good later on. for now, just accpet that fact that he is completely (or well, mostly) reformed and that the Avengers trust him, and that he lives in Avengers tower, ok? thanks. **  
**also, if you haven't seen the Avengers gag reel, (then you've obviously been living under a rock) watch it. its absolutely hilarious. the full version isn't on youtube, so google it. enjoy and please review!**

* * *

"Ha! I beat you all. Again!"

"Yes, Natasha, we know, you _always_ beat us at Risk. Stop bragging." Clint complained.

All the Avengers were currently seated around the kitchen table, playing Risk. Or they had been, before Natasha beat them.

"I tire of this game!" Thor shouted. "Let us play a different one."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Of course you would want to switch. I defeated you entirely after two rounds."

"I put up a formidable fight!" The god of thunder yelled.

"Who's idea was it to let the god who tried to take over the world before play Risk?" Natasha asked to no one in particular. Everyone ignored her.

"Sure you did, sure you did," Tony smirked. "But Thor's right. This game is getting boring. Lets play something else."

"We would, Tony" Bruce said, "but you don't have any other games here, and Fury isn't letting us out again."

Clint groaned. "Again? How big is it this time?"

Bruce consulted the monitor showing the security footage from cameras throughout the tower. "I'd say about fifty or so. And loud too."

"Don't they just ever give up?" Tony groaned.

This time Clint smirked. "I thought you loved the publicity, Stark."

"Yeah, when there's girls falling all over me wanting to sleep with me. Not this!" he pointed to the cameras.

They al knew what he was referring to. Ever since the story had leaked out that the Avengers were staying in Stark tower, they'd been mobbed, morning till night. They could rarely leave the building. But it wasn't the usual press.

"Why couldn't these kids just go back to obsessing over Justin Beiber? At least he's closer to their age!" Tony whined. He stared at the fan girls blocking the doors of his building. Some held signs, with different Avengers faces on them. Some wore Avenger t-shirts. All were yelling, screaming, and chanting.

"Who is this 'Justin Beiber of whom you speak?" Thor demanded.

"An 18 year old boy who sings and still hasn't grown up. There are tons of little girls who are obsessed with him." Natasha answered.

"Ah. Not dissimilar to the ones who chant outside our tower."

"Yes." Tony grumbled. "And it annoys me to no end. Why can't I use the pepper spray guns on them? Or even the water guns?"

"Because Fury would kill us if we did." Answered Steve.

"That was a rhetorical question Rogers."

"Oh."

"Hey guys, we still didn't decide on a different game." Clint said, changing the subject.

"How about hide and go seek? You guys all hide, Thor lumbers around the tower looking for you, and I go take a nap!"

"Stark, remember what Fury said. Team bonding time."

"Shut up, Barton."

"Hey that's actually not a bad idea! How about a good game of sardines?" Banner suggested.

Natasha stared at him. "You want to play with smelly fish?"

They all stared at her. "You've never played sardines before?" Tony asked, almost aghast.

"Even I have played sardines before! Loki and I used to torture the guards our father put on us to keep us safe. It is the best of games!"

Loki grinned. "Ah. Those were fun. Remember when they had to get Heimdall to tell them where we were?"

"But seriously, Tasha. Never?" Clint asked.

"Didn't have much of a childhood, remember?" Natasha whispered to Clint.

"Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry." He cleared his throat. "But anyway, this is how it works. One person hides, and everyone looks for them. Then, once you find them, you have to hide with them. First person to find them gets to hide."

"I have an even better idea."

"Stark, I don't like that look."

"Relax, Cap, relax. All I was going to suggest is that the person who wins the most rounds gets to pick dinner."

"I support this proposal!"

"Thanks, Thor. But you didn't need to shout. We're all right here."

"I guess that means I am too." Loki said, trying not to sound excited.

"I'm in." Clint said in a deep, serious voice that made Natasha snort.

"I guess I am too." Steve said with a sigh. "I haven't played this in years."

"Banner?"

"Alright, why not? I'm in."

"Widow?"

"C'mon, Tasha." Clint elbowed her. "It'll be fun."

"Oh, alright."

"Woohoo!" Stark cheered. "Now, who's first?"

"I am!" Thor shouted, as he sped off.

"Eh, doesn't really matter, this round will be over soon enough." Tony said, and the others nodded. They all knew about Thor's inability to keep quiet.

They waited 2 minutes before going in search of the demigod.

"Ok, so this wasn't as easy as I thought it would be." Tony admitted to Bruce and Steve a half hour later.

"No kidding." Bruce said. "Have Barton and Widow had any luck?"

"Nope." They'd broken into teams after the first ten minutes, realizing the game was incredibly boring when you're combing a building with 107 floors alone.

"Yeah, who knew Thor would be so good at this game?"

"Not me. Hey, have you heard from Loki?"  
"Nope. Let me ask the others. Clint," Steve asked, pressing a finger to his earpiece, "any sign of Loki?"

"Negatory." Came the response.

"Man, I'm going to kill those two."

Meanwhile, in Thor's room…

"Brother, this is probably the best idea you have had all day." Loki said, as he drifted off to sleep on Thor's spare bed.

"Agreed. But we really have Stark to thank for this one."

Loki smirked. "Right. Remind me to thank him later."

"I will try to, brother. Good night."

"Good night."

Needless to say, when the other found the two of them, an hour and a half later, they were upset.

"Can't believe them." Tony was muttering. "That was my idea."

"I can't believe I didn't think of it before." Bruce said.

"It's actually not a bad hiding spot." Natasha admitted.

"Now," Clint asked with a wicked smile, "how do we wake them up?"

"Bullhorn?" Tony suggested.

"Nah. How about tickle torture?" Bruce suggested.

"No. Remember how it turned out the last time we tried that?" Steve reminded them. They all winced. "How about the old fashioned way-buckets of ice water?"  
"No, not good enough." Clint thought for a moment. "Aha! I've got it!" he whispered the plan excitedly to them.

Tony grinned. "You do realize Fury will kill us for this, right?"  
Natasha snorted. "You of all people, are scared of Fury? And besides, it'll be worth it."  
"Good point. Hey Bruce, check to make sure the surveillance camera is on. I've got to get something from downstairs."

A few minutes later, Tony was back, but he wasn't alone.

"Alright, keep quiet, and walk into that room. Then just do your thing."

A moment later, they all heard shrieks coming from Thor's room.

"OMG, its Thor and Loki! OMG! I can't believe it!" they saw camera flashes going off from underneath the door crack.

"What is the meaning of this?" They heard Thor grumble.

He flung open the door. "Son of Stark, I am going to kill you."

Loki was right behind him. "Who's idea was it?" he had a dangerous look in his eyes, and there were green sparks coming off his hands.

They all jumped back and pointed to Barton. "No, no, it was all Stark," Clint tried to stutter. Loki ignored him. Both his hands were now encased in balls on green light now.

"Umm, guys," tony butted in, "hate to break up this love fest, but we still have company."

They all turned to stare at the three fan girls standing motionless behind them. Everyone stood there, not moving.

Tony broke the silence. "Alright you three, lets get you back down." He shepherded them to the elevator and sent them down.

Loki glared at the inventor. "You did fry their media chips on the way up, correct?"

"Yes, Loki," Stark sighed, "What do you think I am, an amateur?"

The god of mischief breathed a sigh of relief. "No, I'm am simply insuring that my sleeping face does not appear all over your internet tomorrow morning. As for you," both gods turned back to Clint.

"Brother," Thor put a hand on Loki's shoulder "we can deal with him a different time. I have a better idea."


	3. happy bday, steve! part 1: the suprise

**hey guys, sorry this took so long. i had no idea what to write, and then i finally got an idea. but i felt bad that it was taking so long, so i'm posting part 1 now. part 2 will be up tomorow, hopefully. also, if any of u has any ideas of what i should write, please let me know. writers block sucks.  
**

**in case u ppl havent noticed, i don't own the avengers. if i did, i would probably have much more important things to do with my time, like attend parties, or work on avengers 2, or maybe iron man 3 (coming out in may! ahhh!)**

* * *

**July 4, 2012**

"Happy birthday!"

Steve Rogers opened his eyes to a sight he never thought he would see. The entire Avengers team, plus Nick Fury, were all standing in his bedroom, wearing birthday hats.

He groaned. "You've got to be kidding me, guys."

Stark grinned. "Nope. Alright everybody, on the count of three! One, two, three!"

When Stark finished counting, the team burst into song. (Except Fury. He just stood there.)

"Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy 92nd birthday to Steeeeeeeve, (although Stark shouted Capsicle above all of their voices)

Happy birthday to you!"

"And many mooooooore!" Barton sang after they all finished. Natasha whacked him on the head. The archer just grinned.

"Guys, this was totally unnecessary. You now, after 85, I just stopped counting."

The entire team stared at him. The room was so quite you could hear a pin drop.

"Cap," Stark asked, "did you just make a joke?"

Steve smirked. "I make 1 joke a year. On my birthday. That's it. Be fortunate you were the ones to hear it this year. But seriously, I really don't like celebrating my birthday."

"Why not?" Thor boomed. "In Asgard, the day of one's birth is the cause for much celebration! When it is the day of someone's birth, we feast, and toast so they will have a successful year!"

"Oh, the Asgardians make a feast, drink, and celebrate because something happened. Stop the presses!" Clint muttered.

"Hey, no amount of convincing is going to dissuade Tony from celebrating your birthday." Bruce told him. "He's been planning it for a while. And I actually think you're going to like it."

Steve looked at him with an amused look on his face. "If Tony's planning it, I don't think I'm going to like it very much."

Apparently the man in question overheard the exchange. "What are you talking about? I throw the best parties!"

Steve rolled his eyes. "What you call parties, I call torture. Now please, just can you all leave so I can get dressed?"

"Actually, Rogers, you can't really wear what you normally wear." Fury told him.

"And by what you normally wear, he means you stuff from the 30's" Stark said in a not so quiet whisper.

Fury ignored him. "Since you will be leaving the tower today and going out in public, you need to blend in. I had Barton pick out an outfit for you in your size that will help you blend in. You will wear sunglasses the entire day. If you do, you should be unrecognizable. And don't worry, everyone is wearing disguises, not just you."

"Sir, where are we going?" the super soldier asked.

"I'm not going anywhere. But your team is taking you out. And Banner was right. You probably will enjoy it." he turned to leave. "Oh, and Stark,"

"Yes, Nicky dearest?"  
"If anything happens today, it's all on you. This was your idea."

Stark grinned. "Yessir!"

As the director left, Tony turned to everyone else. "Alright, team, everyone, in your disguises. Today is going to be AWESOME!"

Steve groaned. "That's what I was afraid of."

**THIS IS A LINE BREAKER!**

In the end, the outfit wasn't so bad. Clint had picked out for him black jeans a t-shirt, even sneakers called 'converse'. The shirt said 'Life' across the top with an outstretched hand holding 2 lemons on the bottom. When he read it, he grinned. He understood that reference.

Once he was dressed, he went to the main room, recently renamed 'the family room'. Half the team was already assembled there, and they were all in disguise.

Natasha was seated next to Clint on the couch. She was wearing a brown wig and a short, girly dress. She was wearing a full face of makeup, so it appeared that she was about 10 years younger than she actually was. She clearly was not happy about it, but was trying to hide it. She must not like being girly when not on a mission. Clint was dressed causally, similar to Steve, with his ever-present sunglasses on his face. Banner was seated near them, dressed normally. Not many people knew what the famed scientist looked like, only his alter ego.

Steve sat down on the couch next to them. "Like shirt, Barton. Thanks for picking out the clothes. Who knows what Stark would have come up with."

Clint snorted. "Probably an Iron Man t-shirt."

Steve laughed, then realized with horror that it would be just like Stark to do something like that. Before he could make another comment, though, he was cut short. Thor had come into the main room, and he did not look happy.

"I do not enjoy this disguise!" he roared. Steve could see why. The god's hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and he, like the rest of them, was dressed like a normal 30-year-old guy. But for Thor, that was a big jump. No armor, no chain mail, no giant boots, just a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. He looked miserable.

When the others saw Thor, they all snickered. Bruce patted Thor's arm as he sat down on the couch next to him. "Sorry, buddy." He said.

"He tried to cut off my hair!" Thor said in horror. "You cannot cut off the air of Asgardian royalty!"

"I'm sure he didn't know that." the doctor reassured him. "Who's he? Tony?" Thor nodded wordlessly.

"Did someone say my name?" Steve heard a voice announce. They all turned. It definitely was Stark's voice; there was no denying it. But who was that?

Walking towards them was a clean-shaven man wearing a baseball cap, with blond hair peaking out from underneath. Green eyes twinkled out from under the brim of the hat. From the way he was dressed, you'd think the guy was barely out of high school.

"Stark?" Clint asked, hesitantly. "Is that you?"

The man before them grinned. "Indeed it is. And may I present the lovely Pepper Potts.."

He gestured an arm towards the doorway, and another person they could barely recognize walked in. This woman was tanned and had a short brown bob. She sported dangling earrings, a fake diamond second piercing on her right ear, a stud in her nose, and multiple rings. She wore ripped cutoff jeans and a shirt that said 'Girl Power' on it. She also seemed to have a tattoo curling out from the top of her shirt, snaking its way across her collarbone.

They all stared. Was it really Pepper? She waved to them. "Hey guys. And yeah, it really is me, under this fake tan and temporary tattoo. Tony decided to go a bit overboard with this whole 'disguise' thing. But anyways, you all ready to go?"

They all started cheering as if the were 5 year olds at a summer camp. Only Steve didn't cheer. "Will someone please tell me where we're going?"

Tony grinned again. "Nope. Sorry, Cap. Alright guys, lets move out!"

They turned to leave, when Clint yelled, "Wait! The blindfold!"

Tony smacked his face. "How could I forget?" He pulled a heincercheif out of his pocket, and before the super soldier could protest, he wrapped it around his face.

"Is this really necessary?" Steve asked.

Tony cackled. "Of course it is. We can't have you ruining the surprise for yourself by looking out the window. Alright, take 2, everyone-move out!"

And off they went.

* * *

**and again, if u guys have any ideas, please let me no. if not, please just review, or whatever.**


	4. happy bday steve! part 2: the trip

the entire title didnt fit on top. the full title is:

happy bday steve! part 2: the trip; and the ruining of the trip

* * *

"I can't believe I'm going along with this." Steve muttered. The blindfold was getting really annoying, and they'd been driving for a while already. "Where are we, Stark?" he demanded for maybe the fortieth time that car ride.

"Calm down, Capsicle. We're almost there."

"Thank G-d."

A few minutes later, they were pulling into the parking lot near their destination.

"Can I take off this stupid blindfold now?" Steve demanded.

"Not yet. We need to go over some ground rules first." Stark announced.

"That's usually my job," Steve said quiet enough so that only Stark, who was sitting next to him, could hear.

"Seriously though guys, we have to follow the rules Fury gave us, or else he's gonna roast us all alive. And don't think I didn't hear that, Rogers. All right, here are the ground rules. One, no calling anyone by their last names. They're too distinctive. Also, for today, we're just gonna call Thor Hammerhead. Also, above all, NO DRAWING ATTENTION TO YOURSELVES! Got it?"

Clint saluted. "Sir, yes, sir!"

Stark rolled his eyes. "Alright Cap, don't open the blindfold yet, we're gonna lead you to the front."

They all stepped out of the car, and the team directed Steve where to go. As they walked, the soldier felt himself awash with different sounds and smells. He could hear the squeals of children, of popcorn being popped, and so much more. It was so….so familiar. That was strange. What was still familiar about the century he was living in now?

They walked a bit further, and then stopped. "Alright, Steve, we're removing your blindfold. Keep your eyes closed." Natasha ordered. Steve dutifully did as he was told as he felt the blindfold slip away.

"Ok, open your eyes in 3.. 2…1!"

Steve opened his eyes and saw a sight he never thought he'd see in real life again. "Is that.. The Cyclone?" he asked in awe.

"Yup. It's still around. Captain, welcome, or should I say welcome back, to Coney Island." Stark announced.

They all stood in front of the 85 year old coaster for a moment, not moving. Then they watched, in disbelief, as tears started to form on the normally unemotional soldier's face.

"Thanks guys. I really appreciate this. Thanks for bringing me here and not to some strip club."

"Yeah, well if Cint had his way.." Tony muttered. They all laughed. they continued standing there until Clint yelled,

"Last one on line is a rotten egg!"

They all rushed in, laughing and yelling like a bunch of little kids with no supervision. Thank G-d for the disguises.

**THIS IS A LINE BREAKER**

"Hey Cap, you really want to go on this thing?" Tony asked as he put on his seatbelt.

"Are you kidding?" Steve asked with a grin as he sat down next to him and strapped himself in. "I haven't been on this ride in litteraly decades. There's no way I'm not going to go on. And we waited for a half hour just to go on!" he paused for a moment. "Why?"

"Oh nothing," the genius said, trying to brush it off, "its just if you didn't want to go and needed someone to get off with you…"

It was only then that Steve noticed how shaky Tony's voice was. "Tony, are you nervous?"

"No." Tony snorted, not very convincingly.

"Don't tell me the great Ironman is afraid of heights." Steve said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, of course not. Don't be an idiot. I'm just..,just…a but nervous riding an a little metal car down a track made of wood that's more than double my age."

Steve laughed, and the inventer threw him a harsh look. "Don't laugh. Its not funny."

"That the great Tony Stark is afraid of roller coasters?" a voice said from behind them, "I think its hilarious."

Tony whirled around. "Barton, you heard that? I'm going to kill you, you know that?" Clint just grinned. "And no last names, remember?"

"Sure you are, 'fraidy cat, sure you are."

"You've got to admit, Tony, it is kinda funny." The head in front of them said.

Tony moaned. "You too, Bruce? I thought you would be nicer than that. but really guys, were all of you listening in?"

"Pretty much." Natasha said, and even though Tony had already turned back around and couldn't see her, he could invision her wicked grin in his mind.

"I'm going to kill you all."

"Seriously boys-and Natasha-, don't make fun of Tony's fear. It's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart." The person sitting next to Bruce said.

"Was that really nesesary, Pepper? " Tony asked, his voice slightly muffled since his face was in his hands.

"The man of Iron is fearful of places that are high up?" a voice boomed from the front of the roller coaster.

Everyone on the team whirled around to see if anyone had overheard the Norse god. Thankfully, no one did.

"Thor," Steve whispered, "you can't call Tony that. We're hiding who we are, remember?"

"I am sorry my friends, I forgot. I will try to remember for he future." Thor said it what he must have thought was a whisper.

The attendess came around to check that everyone's bar was down over their lap. "Last chance to duck out, Tony." Steve told him.

"Oh, be quiet."

But Steve could still hear the man chanting under his breath, "Its gonna be over soon. Its gonna be over soon." He couldn't help but snicker a bit, and Tony shot him a look. But before either of them could say anything, their car shot forward.

"Here we go!" Steve yelled with childish delight.

**A few minutes later…..**

"Ugh…." Tony said as he staggered of the ride. "That was awful. How did you people enjoy that?"

"THAT. WAS. AWESOME!" Clint yelled.

"It was even better than I remember!" Steve said with a smile so wide, Tony was sure his face would burst.

"I enjoyed the coaster that rolled!" Thor announced. "Let us go again!"

"What happened to NOT DRAWING ATTENTION TO OURSELVES?" Tony asked with gritted teeth.

"I'm confused, Stark." Clint started.

"Tony!" the man hissed.

Clint ignored him. "Usually you're the biggest publicity hound of all of us. Why all the hush hush?"

"Maybe because I haven't been here since I was a little kid either and aside from the roller coasters, I actually like this place. Okay?"

they all stood there, stunned.

Then, Clint began to laugh. "That..is probably..the funniest thing.. you've ever said!" he said between laughs.

"no, its not!" Tony frowned and crossed his arms. "Can we just move on?"

By now, they were all laughing at Tony's proclamation, simply because it was so random. Reluctantly, their laughter petered down to mere giggles, and they decided to move on.

"Where to now, birthday boy?" Bruce asked Steve.

"Is the arcade still here?" Steve asked hopefully.

"Sure is, buddy. Lets go wack some moles and skee some balls." Bruce steered him towards the arcade.

**4 hours later….**

All the Avengers (and Pepper) found themselves sitting around a table in front of the Nathan's hotdogs store.

"I can't believe this store is still around!" Steve said, is mouth full of hotdog.

"I like this hotdog! Another!" the team watched in horror as Thor lifted his half eaten hotdog in the air, about to slam it down. The god raised an eyebrow, and then burst out laughed at their worried expressions. He lowered the hotdog and then took another bite. "I believe now is the proper time to use that Midguardian expression, 'psych!'"

Thor thought for a moment, and a small smile crossed his face. "Or, as my brother has unfortuantly taken to saying, 'Loki'd !'"

They all burst out laughing. "Thor, you actually have a sense of humor." Natasha said, whipping her tearing eyes.

"Indeed." The Asguardian paused as he lifted a second hotdog to his mouth. "Have none of you noticed it before this moment?"

when they all finished eating, and Tony finished his argument about why shwarma was still better than hotdogs, the next big debate came.

"Ok, so what now?" Pepper asked.

"Well, we've already gone on the cyclone, the giant swing, bungee jumping, and won all in the arcade." Clint said, gesturing to the mound of stuffed animals sitting next to Natasha. "What haven't we done yet?"

Tony grinned, "Guys, we're going to a Cyclones game!"

"Hey Tony,' Clint whispered as they took their seats. "You do realize that the Cyclone's kinda, you know, suck?"

"They're not that bad. They nearly one the championship in 2001!" he argued.

"Yeah, in 2001." Natasha butted in. "But they've been doing terribly this season!" **(I'm not really sure if they are, but we're just going to pretend here, ok? And at the game I went to they were absolutely awful, except for the pitcher.)**

Tony shrugged. "Who cares? It'll be fun!"

Tony turned to his left and saw Steve explaing the rules of baseball to Thor. It was an amusing site. Usually, the rest of the team did the explaining to Steve. Ironically, though, they were in Steve's comfort zone now.

"Play ball!" Tony heard, and he turned to watch the game.

Of course, Clint was right. The Cyclones were terrible. And the team they were playing, the Staten Island Yankees, were equally awful. It was halfway through the game, and both teams only hit the ball once. Only 1 player even made it to 2nd base! It was absolutely ridiculous.

"Next up, Jorge Rivero!"

"Is that the guy with the .152 batting average?" Bruce asked Pepper warily.

"Yup. Is it just me or is there no Americans on this team?"

"No, not just you." Natasha said. "I think there may be 2 Americans on the team."

"It's a little sad." Clint said with a sigh. "The decline of American minor league. A real tragedy."

"Hey, it actually is a bit sad." Steve said, elbowing him. "Minor league was a big deal, back in the day."

"Back in the day." Clint said in a deep voice, mockingly. Steve rolled his eyes. They all went back to watching Jorge strike out. Again. Collectively, they all sighed, as if expecting anything different.

"Whatever, guys. We're having fun anyways, right?" Tony asked hopefully.

Stev grinned. "Yes Tony, you planned a good party. Don't let it inflate your ego too much more, or else it may burst."

"Yes!" Tony punched his fist into the air. "I planned a party that even Mr. Ever the soldier could enjoy! My life is now complete." He finished with a content sigh as he leaned back into his chair. "Uhh, guys, what is that thing?

Clint stared. "is that.. a pelican?"  
Natasha consulted the game playbill thingy. **(I have no idea what that thing is called. Its that book thingy that they give to you on your way into the game with players names, statistics, maybe a short bio, lots of ads, that thing. You know what I'm talking about, right?) **"I think that's Peewee, the mascot. And yeah, he's a pelican."

They all watched as Peewee shook hands and took pictures, stubling on the steps with his huge feet. When he reached their row, he signed a ball that a kid sitting near them held up to the bird, and then turned to the Avengers.

Suddenly, he started shaking his head. What was going on? They all began to tense up. Were they going to be attacked by a villain dressed in a pelican costume?

The pelican reched out, and the entire team shrunk back visibly. But Peewee simply grabbed Tony's Yankee cap that he had been wearing. To Tony's embarresment, the blond hair theyd seen peeking out from under the cap went with it. he smiled sheepishly.

"You didn't think id actually dye my hair, did you?" He ran a hand through his normal, brown hair. "I would never dye my hair. I love it too much." He paused and stared at the pelican once more. "Guys, whats he doing with my hat?"

the team watched as Peewee lifted the hat, and displayed it to the people sitting near them. They all booed, clearly because it was not a Cyclone's cap. Peewee then proceeded to rub the hat underneath his armpits, step on the hat, and even pretended to spit on it, while the crowd cheered him on. Then the mascot whipped the hat off, and handed it back to Tony.

But before the millionare could put it back on, the kid who's baseball Peewee had signed moments before shouted, "Hey, that's Tony Stark! That Ironman! Just without the beard!"

Someone else called from behind him, "Yeah, and I think that's Captain America!"

"Is that Thor?" another voice asked. "Why is he wearing a ponytail?"

a crowd suddenly appeared before the supposedly disguised Avengers. They all were snapping photos, asking questions, and thrusting stuff at them for them to sign.

Tony sighed. "Well, at least I tried to stay in disguise." He whispered to Bruce.

Bruce snickered. "Yeah, Fury is not going to appreciate this."

* * *

**DELETED SCENES:** (or just 1)

Natasha and Clint were walking side by side through Coney Island. They had ditched the others to wander around by themselves for a bit. Without them even noticing, their hands had twined together, and to any passing stranger, they looked like any normal couple out on a date.

Suddenly, Clint stopped short. Natasha turned back to her partner. "Clint? Whats wrong?"

Clint just stood there, trembling. "T-T-T-Tasha?" he stuttred.

"Yeah?" she asked, concern evident in her voice. "Is everything alright?"

Clint shook his head a lifted a shaky finger. "It's h-h-him!"

Natasha looked to where Clint was pointing. It took her a second, but then she realized where she had seen what he was pointing to before. She started to get nervous. "Alright Clint, lets just back away slowly." She said shakily, clearly a bit frightened. "It's ok. He's not going to hurt us. Don't worry. Just back away slowly."

The pair walked swiftly away, trying not to look suspiciously over their shoulder. They turned a corner and began to run. When they felt they had put a good enough distance between them and him, they stopped, and just breathed for a moment.

"G-d, I can't believe he's here." Clint shuddered. "I hate that guy." He shuddered.

"Its ok," Natasha said soothingly, rubbing his back. "He's far behind us."

Clint sighed a sigh of relief. "Thank G-d." He straightened. "I assume we don't mention this to the others?"

Natasha shook her head vigorously. "Not a word, Barton." He nodded, and they continued walking, trying to push the image of the deadly Zoltar out of their minds.

* * *

**ok, i'm sorry this chapter took so long, but this chapter took FORVEVER to write. no, you have no idea. and this is the longest chapter i wrote. ever. it almost 2 and a half thousand words! ok, that may not seem like a lot to you, but its 6 typed pages. 6! and i just had to add that last part in, because its just so dang funny. oh, and brownie points for whoever caught the Big refrence. (the movie, not a big refrence, as a opposed to a small one. i mean, oh, you get what i mean!)**  
**oh, and btw, that whole 'take of the cap and rub it under his armpits' buisness actually happens. this whole chapte was inspired by the trip that i took to Coney Island and a cyclones game last week. i still cant believe that i live about a half hour from the place, and i'd never been there before! anyways, its awesome. and yes, coney island had not 1, but 2 zoltar machines. i saw them, and was sufficiently creeped out by them. but enough of this long author note! **

**review, or i'll send the Zoltar after you!**


	5. the fallout

**alright, so if you guys actually read these ramblings, you might remember that i said in the very beginning of all this that i wasn't exactly sure where this was going. i was kinda running out of ideas recently, and was thinking about giving up on this entirely, but then i came up with a really great idea-at least i think so. you'lll have to let me know. but for know, I'm gonna run with it. i will be taking down the sardines chapter, for obvious reasons, as you will soon read. because of plot development it: a. needs to be moved to later on. b. certain details now need to be changed. but hopefully I'll have a new chapter up soon, and i will repost the sardines chapter. if it fits. alright, enough of my speach. read, enjoy, and please review!**

* * *

The fallout:

"Stark, please don't tell me that what I saw on the news isn't true."

"Hey Fury. Yeah, the news about the American ambassador killed in Libya is horrible. I met the guy once. Nice man. But why don't you believe it? got some conspiracy theory?" **(And no, I did not just make this up. Yesterday, the American ambassador to Libya was murdered. It's pretty horrible.)**

"Stark, you know that's not what I'm talking about."

"What, the fact that the new iPhone needs a different USB cable? Yeah, it's annoying, but I don't own Apple, I own Stark Industries. Can't really help you there."

"Stark, I gave you 1 simple task. 1! And you couldn't even do that! Turn on the TV right now."

Tony sighed and clicked on the TV. He knew what he'd see before it even powered on.

"And now in celebrity news, the Avengers have been spotted at a Brooklyn Cyclone's game. They were all in disguise, apparently trying to go incognito, but they were revealed in a very, well, unorthodox way. We have it all on tape here." The newscaster faded away to a video of Peewee the pelican removing Stark's hat and defacing it. Then it showed, it blinding Technicolor and surprisingly good sound, all the other people in the stands slowly recognize who exactly they were sitting next to.

Tony turned of the TV, not needing to see more. "And what exactly do you want me to do about it now, Fury? It's not as if we were doing anything scandalous. You should be thankful that it's this, not pictures of us being hauled home drunk from some party!"

"That happened already, Stark." Tony could not miss the dangerous edge in the director's voice. "Remember? That's why you were on _probation_."

"So what are you going to do? Is Daddy going to send the bad Avengers to the corner?" he said in a mocking tone.

Fury laughed, a sound that did not exactly put Stark at ease. "Something like that. You'll find out soon enough. Gather everyone together in the planning room in 5 minutes. I'll tell everyone together." Fury severed the connection.

"And he didn't even say goodbye." Tony said with a huff.

**LINE BREAKER!**

All the Avengers were sitting around the large, circular table in the middle of "The Strategy Room". The all talked and bantered as usual, but they were curious, and a slight bit nervous to find out what their punishment would be. Okay, maybe a bit more than slightly. But not really. The only one who didn't look nervous was Thor. He looked strangely excited.

But before Tony could question him, the door opened, and all their heads turned to see who was coming in.

"Hank!" Tony exclaimed, rising to shake the man's hand. "How are you?"

Hank Pym, otherwise known as Ant-man, grinned. "Nice to see you too, Tony. It's been a while." The scientist turned to the rest of the Avengers. "Hi, nice to meet you guys. I'm Hank Pym, an old friend of Tony's."

"And a genius." Tony added. "He designed the negative zone prison 42."

Hank looked embarrassed. "Hey, you helped too. And 42 is partly the reason why I'm here. We have a prisoner to be dropped off here, straight from 42, Fury's orders."

Tony looked surprised. "Isn't it usually the other way around?"

Hank shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "Don't ask me, I'm just the messenger. Fury said that you were to aid in rehabilitating him. And that if you have any complications, call me. But, if there is any severe damage, S.H.I.E.L.D isn't paying for it."

Tony rolled his eyes. "So that's Fury's revenge. Not sure what we could do in the rehabilitating department, but we can try to help. So who is it?"

Hank looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Umm, before he comes in, I just want to relay this message from Fury. He said," Hank pulled out a paper. "Tell Stark and the others that this, if done right, will see them forgiven. They cannot, under any circumstances, try to send the prisoner back, or simply set him loose into the world. If they do, I will personally crush all of them."

Tony grinned. "Yup, that's Fury. Just a real sweetheart, that one."

Hank rolled his eyes. "Might as well get this over with. Guys, bring him in."

A number of S.H.I.E.L.D agents led in a figure in handcuffs with a bag over his face. All the Avengers watched anxiously as the guards removed the handcuffs and slowly lifted off the bag.

When they saw who was underneath, the entire team gasped.

"No. This cannot be happening." Natasha said, aghast.

" Even Fury wouldn't do this to us!" Tony exclaimed in disbelief.

Bruce rubbed his eyes. "I am dreaming, right?"

Steve just stared. "Unfortunately, I don't think so."

Clint just sat there, not saying a word.

Thor, on the other hand, rose excitedly and ran to the other end of the room where the prisoner was rubbing his wrists; obviously glad his handcuffs were off.

"Brother!" Thor exclaimed. "It is good to see you alive and well." The god threw out his arms, and wrapped them around his younger brother, Loki.

"It is good to see you too, brother." Loki answered, reciprocating the hug. Unlike the last time the god of mischief said this, there was genuine warmth in his voice. Loki seemed truly happy to see his brother.

After they had finished their mini family reunion, the two Norse gods turned to face the Avengers. They were all staring at the pair.

"You-you knew about this?" Tony chocked.

Thor grinned. "I was only informed of this wondrous news about an hour ago. The Director saw it fit to inform me of Loki's coming before he arrived."

Loki grinned. "Thor, for once you have kept a secret. I am impressed."

"Hate to break up this love-fest, but we gotta go." Hank broke in. No one paid him any attention. They all just stared at the scene before them.

"Okay, I'll walk myself out." Hank said to himself. "C'mon guys." Hank and the S.H.I.E.L.D agents left, but the Avengers hardly took notice.

Thor opened his mouth to say something, but Bruce interrupted him. "Wait, did S.H.I.E.L.D really just release you from prison? And they're trusting _us_ to watch you?"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "What, do you not believe this?" he looked from one incredulous face to another. Loki sighed. "Obviously not. And, as expected, S.H.I.E.L.D does not either." He tugged down the neckline of his shirt to reveal a small thin collar around his neck.

"Odin sent me back to Midguard after Thor and I returned. He thought that since I tried to take over your planet, your people had the right to decide how to punish me. But before I left, Odin put this around my neck. This collar prevents me from doing harmful magic. I can still, per se, change my clothing, or clean dishes, but nothing that could be perceived as harmful. It is quite an intelligent piece of magic, I must admit. S.H.I.E.L.D did not simply put me here with no safety precautions."

"I'm still not understanding." Tony said, shaking his head, as if to wake himself from a bad dream. "When did you and Thor become best bros again? Why did S.H.I.E.L.D deem you docile enough to come stay with us, and not in prison?"

Thor gave Loki a concerned look, as if he expected Loki to lash out at the inventor. But Loki simply put a reassuring arm on Thor shoulder.

"Odin did not send me directly to Midguard." He said quietly. "He employed an Asguardian reforming method on me first." Loki paused for a moment as if remembering the pain. "It puts the accused in the position of the victim, so he can feel exactly what the victim felt. I was put in the place of almost every single person I saw during the attack. Some were simply random citizens whom I had no idea who they were. But I went through what they went through. What you all went through. I felt the pain, the sorrow, the tragedy. Multiple times over." Loki's voice grew soft at the end. "That experience changed me. I learned the difference between harmless mischief and pointless terror. I am a changed man." He paused for another moment. "I do hope you believe me." This was said so quietly, it was almost a whisper.

The team sat in silence. In the end, Clint was the first to speak. He rose, his voice shaky. "I can tell that you've changed, but I don't believe. No one can change that fast, that much."

Loki nodded. "I understand your doubts, archer. I will try to prove to you that I have indeed changed. Because unfortunately, it is not any of our decisions whether I stay or not. Your Director has ordered me here. I cannot leave. If I do, you will know." This time, Loki raised his pant leg to reveal a tracking device. "This machine will alert all of you if I attempt to leave the manor without you giving explicit permission. If I do try to leave, a strong electric pulse will be sent through my body, rendering me unconscious for 20 minutes. At least."

Tony nodded. "I'll hook it up to Jarvis. Not like we have much choice in the matter." He sighed.. "Thor, can you get Loki a floor set up on a floor? He can have the one beneath yours. It's still empty, right?" Thor nodded. "Good. Give him the grand tour. Can't have Rudolph here getting lost."

Thor nodded again. "Come, brother, let me show you this place. There is much of it I do not understand." He said as they left.

"That is surprising, brother." They heard Loki laugh as they walked down the hall, and Thor's booming chuckle as he joined in, laughing at his own expense.

"No, truly, it is a building of wonderment and tree magic. There is a voice without a body that speaks and a box that brings you places…." The other team members could hear Thor's voice trailing off into the distance.

As soon as the two were out of earshot, Tony turned to the rest of them. "So, what's your take?"

Steve shrugged. "He certainly looked sincere. And Thor and Pym trust him."

"Mind control?" Bruce suggested.

"Nah," Clint answered. "Their eyes would be blue remember?" they all nodded, not thinking much about who exactly had pointed that fact out. Natasha did, though. She rested a hand on Clint's arm.

"Are you alright?" she asked, quite enough so that none of the others could hear.

Clint shrugged it off. "I'll be fine. Besides, he seems to mean it. I mean, that look of pure and utter regret in his eyes… He was telling the truth, right?" he asked, knowing the Russian's internal lie detector was about as accurate as any polygraph.

But this time, Natasha seemed unsure. "He looked it, that's for sure." She said hesitantly. "But still, I think it's going to take a while for all of us to fully trust him."

Clint snorted. "No kidding. This is going to be a very interesting couple of days."


	6. thor feels

**G-d,it's been a while. but A. i spent most of the past 2 weeks praying (3 cheers for back to back to back Jewish holidays!) and fasting twice (don't ask) and a truckload of schoolwork. to any of you who have never taken it, Alegbra II sucks. especially when you have a terrible teacher. (but i can't rant on her too much because she didn't confinscate the written version of this when she saw that i was writing it during class.) but anyway. **

**here's the chapter. this chapter resulted from me realizing that Loki got of waaay to easy. thus, this chapter. but don;t worry, everything is going to get funny and llghthearted again next chapter. hopefully that will be up soon. i have, you guessed it, another holiday! that means a lot of cooking with my mom, and very little time for writing. but i will try my best. **

**but on to the story. read! review! enjoy!**

***oh, and btw, i just made a tumblr, to whoever's interested, my name is tazo16***

* * *

Steve found Thor on the roof, staring out at the Manhattan skyline, unmoving. Steve stood there awkwardly for a moment, not sure whether he should say something or not. But before he could decide, he heard Thor sigh heavily.

"You ok, big guy?" Steve asked hesitantly.

Thor turned around to face him. "Alas, I fear not, my friend. All is not well on Asgaurd."

Steve noticed the longing, the homesickness in his voice. "Do you need to go back? I'm sure we can hold the fort without you for a little while if you're needed back home."

Instead of thanking him and hoping onto a magic bridge that popped out of thin air like Steve expected, Thor winced.

"No, my friend. But I thank thee for thy offer." He turned back to stare out over the city, leaning over the railing slightly. An awkward silence followed.

"Does this have to do with Loki?" Steve asked, not sure if Thor's stepbrother was a sore topic.

"Yes and no. How do the Midguardians put it these days? 'It's complicated'." Thor continued to watch the mini-cars and ant-like people scuttle around on the streets below them.

Steve scuffed his shoe on the hard rooftop, scraping lines onto the slate. They both just stood there, not speaking, watching. But after a few minutes, even Steve couldn't bear the silence anymore.

"You know," he started slowly, "you don't strike me as the 'let's talk about our feelings' kind of guy." Thor raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Steve continued, taking this as a motion to go on. "But if there's trouble with Loki, I think we all have to know, because it can affect the rest of the team."

Thor nodded. "I am aware of that." He seemed reluctant to speak, but eventually he said, "When you came to join me on the roof, I had been conversing with Heimdell. "

"The all-seeing guardian of the Bifrost," Steve said, pleased that he had recognized the name of one of the many gods that Thor mentioned daily. Thor smiled a bit at Steve's triumphant grin before continuing.

"As you know, time passes differently here on Midguard than it does on Asguard." Steve nodded. "Although it seemed to you as though I had been gone for but two moons, two Asguardian years has passed since I left here with Loki after the Battle of Manhattan." Thor shook his head. "Two bloody, brutal, years." He paused, unable to continue.

Steve was about to encourage Thor to resume telling his story when he heard a strange sound. It sounded almost like…like crying.

Steve studied the god. Thor had his head in his hands, and his elbows were resting on the ledge. His entire body shook as it was wracked with sobs. Steve hated to admit it, but Thor didn't look very godly like this. The sight of the Asguardian this way shook Steve.

"It was Surtur!" Thor cried suddenly. "It was always Surtur!" he continued to weep into his palms. Steve put his arm around the god's shoulders, feeling him shake under him. They stood like that for a minute before Thor straightened and wiped his face with the heels of his hands in an effort to compose himself.

"I apologize for that outburst, Captain." Thor said, sniffing. "I have never truly mourned over what transpired. I wished to simply forget the past, but now that Loki has joined us…" his voice trailed off.

"Loki is responsible for this?" Steve asked, fists clenching. It disturbed him to see his friend like this, and if Loki was the one who caused Thor's distress, he was going to pay. "You know, one word to Fury and we can have Loki sent right back to that Asguardian prison lickety-split."

"No." Thor said, cutting him off. "This was not Loki's doing, that is what I wish to tell you."

And with that, Thor began to explain to Steve what exactly had happened in the two short years that he had been gone.

"When Loki and I first returned to Asguard, all was well. Loki had been tried for crimes and was beginning to serve his sentence. I returned to my previous position in Asguard-prince, and aid to Odin."

Steve noticed that Thor called Odin 'Odin', instead of 'father'. That was probably not a good sign. But Steve didn't say anything.

"Nothing of great importance transpired for a few months. It was not until I had been on Asguard for 3 months that I learned about 'the infiltration."

"The infiltration?" Steve asked warily.

"Aye." Thor said gravely. "You see, unbeknownst to most, Surtur was slowly hypnotizing people, so to speak, to do his bidding, when he ordered."

"Ah, I hate to sound clueless, but who's Surtur?"

"I am sorry, my friend," Thor apologized. "Surtur is one of the fire giants, and an enemy of all the nine realms. His only wish is to see the world destroyed. He does not even care for his own realm, Muspelheim. He has attacked Asguard on many occasions, though none successful, thank Odin."

"But this time?" Steve asked, seeing where this was going.

Thor shook his head. "Do not fear, dear Captain. We defeated Surtur and his forces. But the outcome, was far more severe. You see, after the battle, anyone who had been influenced by Surtur had the control over their body returned to them. But many were ashamed that they had been influenced so easily, and rejected the facts that they had fought on any side in a battle other than the side of Asguard."

"But what's the big deal?" Steve asked confused, clearly not grasping the problem. "So some people chose to not acknowledge something they would like to think never happened. People do that all the time!"

"Ah, if only that were the problem." Thor said heavily. "Alas, that was not the only issue. Anyone who retained their sanity, and those who denied losing it, looked upon those who admitted what had been done to them with disdain. Those who admitted to being controlled were sent to the bottommost part of Asguardian society."

Steve winced. "The price of being honest. But it seems like most people were under Surtur's influence."

Thor shook his head. "Many were, but there were countless others who weren't. But there were many Asguardian royals and nobles who were influenced. Surtur hypnotized various types of people, from Loki to Baldur to Andhrimnir, the royal cook. Even Sleipnir was under the control of Surtur."

Steve was paying attention but then he reviewed in his mind what Thor just said. "Did you say that Loki…."

"Aye." Thor nodded. "That is at the heart of the problem."  
"No one wanted to admit that Loki may have just been under Surtur's influence the entire time."

"Indeed. And there is no proof that Loki was under Surtur's command while attacking Midguard because Loki broke free of the control not long after returning to Asguard. Loki claims he had much time of boredom while solitary confinement, when he was not undergoing 'treatment', as he refers to it. When Surtur amassed his forced of controlled Asguardian's Loki's gatekeepers left to do their master's bidding. Loki realized immediately that something was amiss, and escaped his cell to inform me thus. As soon as the attack began, I had no choice but to trust my brother. We fought side by side in the arduous battle. After seeing how admirably Loki had fought, and how he was clearly reformed, I pleaded to the Allfather on his behalf."

"And you were rejected."

"Odin may have considered my request, but Baldur and Sif, both of whom were controlled, convinced the Allfather otherwise. Instead, Odin sentenced Loki another year of unnecessary torture. At that point, I saw that Asguard was no longer a place where neither I nor Loki could stay. Loki was reformed, but would forever be treated as a criminal. I was shunned for supporting my brother, and for not agreeing whole-heartedly with the All-father's decision. So Loki and I departed for Midguard only 2 short week after the battle."

"That's not two years." Steve realized after running brief calculations in his head.

"That was only 4 months, in all. T'was also only the first of many battles. Before Loki and I could depart, Surtur launched his second attack. This attack was on all of the nine realms."

"Not here." Steve corrected him. "There were no reports on anything like that here on Earth."

"No." Thor amended his statement. "Surtur's attack was but the harsh weather you have been experiencing recently. Surtur's plan was to conquer the other 8 realms, (well, 7, without Muspelheim) and then to attack Midguard."

"What made this attack so much worse?"

"Ah! There were many tactics that Surtur employed. Firstly, he sent the Enchantress and her Executioner to Asguard, simply to distract us. Then he stole the Eternal Flame from Odin's vault, which gives him untold power. Surtur instantly became the most powerful being that ever was. Each realm crumbled before him. Surtur was the supreme ruler in the Nine Realms for ten months. He killed anyone who opposed him, and anyone else. He drew delight from hearing the dying cries of young children, and enjoyed torturing innocents. Thus was his rule."

"Ten months." Steve shook his head. "And we had no idea."

"Do not let this cause you anguish, my friend. It was but a two weeks for you."

"So what's going on there now?"

Thor's eyes brightened. "A miraculous event occurred. There was a union, for the first, and undoubtedly the last time ever, in all the realms. Asguard, Alfheim, Niddavellir, Vanaheim, Svartalfheim, even Jotunheim and Niffleheim agreed. It was unlike any other."

"What happened after? You and Loki are still here, and are still on bad terms with Asguard."

As fast as Thor's face had brightened, it now darkened to resemble the storm clouds gathering overhead. "Nothing changed after the Great Battle. Loki and I remained for another few months, but we were ignored entirely. Also, none of the ties with any of the other realms remained after the Great Battle. None of the rulers could see how much _good_ we could accomplish if we did not fight each other." Thor shook his head. "You Midguardians, although you wage war as if it is a game, you have learned to work with your enemy when it benefits you. Asguard has yet to learn this. Thus my brother and I decided that we could not stay in a place has both shunned us and refused to embrace change and advancement. And so we left.

"Loki was apprehended by S.H.E.I.L.D immediately after we arrived. But the Director swore to me Loki's freedom, after they evaluated him and if they deemed him dully reformed. Which obviously came to pass, just a few short days ago. The so-called 'punishment' was simply a ruse, and a clever one at that.

"And now we are up to the present. Loki and I are, for lack of a better word, stranded here. We are on uneven grounds with Asguard. Only Heimdell has sided with us. He informs us of major events that have transpired on Asguard."

"That's quite a story." Steve said, almost in awe.

"Aye." Thor agreed.

"But, since this is such an important turn of events," Steve hesitated before continuing, a bit afraid of Thor's reaction. "Maybe we should tell the rest of the team this story?"

Thor sighed in resignation. "Thy speaks true, although I may wish not to hear it. It is folly to attempt to keep this from our teammates. If they are to live with Loki, they must know why he is here. Why I am here."

"And why we can't ask for help from Asguard if we ever need it."

"Aye, that as well." Thor exhaled slowly.

"Can you please gather our teammate? If I must tell them, it is better I inform them now, rather than later."

"Sure thing." Steve said, clapping him on the shoulder. He turned to leave, but then asked softly, "Are you going to be okay?"

"I will be fine." Thor said with what he must have thought was conviction, but Steve could hear the quiver in his voice.

"Alright then. I'll go get everyone."

As Steve left though, he couldn't help but watch as Thor lifted his face to the sky and stared into the beyond.

"Father." Steve heard him whisper softly, almost whimpering. It sounded like a cry from a young, helpless child.

'But then again', Steve thought in the elevator ride down 'After what's happened, that's probably exactly how Thor feels.'


	7. embaressing stories

**Okay, so the last chapter went through a ton of revisions, and in the original version, Thor told the whole team the story the 1****st**** time around. But then I deleted that and wrote it the way it is now. (Actually, there were 2 other versions in between, but that's not really relevant). ANYWAYS, so I realized that there is no way of getting that scene I deleted back, and I really don't want to write the same scene twice, and it was hard to write and terrible to begin with, and the team didn't have much of a reaction besides:**

Even after Thor left the room with Loki accompanying him, the rest of the team just sat there stunned. After letting the story sink in, Steve had to ask,

"Ok, so do you believe Loki's reformed now?'

Tony snorted. "That's a bit of an understatement. Dude probably went through hell the last 2 years. And that was after the torture."

Clint shrugged. "I guess I'm a but more sympathetic towards the guy now. Did Thor mention them killing Loki's wife or did I just make that up?"

Steve nodded. "No, I think Thor said that. Sutur killed Sigyn when she refused to tell him where their son, Fenrir, was being held prisoner. Apparently, he was destined to kill the ruler of Asguard during their apocalypse, and I guess he wanted to kill him now to get it over with."

Tony just stared at them. "Loki had a wife?!"

"And 3 kids." Bruce added in. "Wait, I think he also mothered an eight legged horse. Make that 4."

"I'm just not gonna ask." Natasha muttered.

"Well, kiddies, its been fun, but I'm going to bed." Stark exited the room.

**And there really wasn't much after that. So I'm just going to pick up from the next morning, because this is a scene that I've wanted to write for FOREVER and it's actually the scene that made me want Loki to live in the Tower. So you all have this scene that I thought up in the middle of AP Euro when I should have been learning about the Germanic tribes and Aleric and the fall of Rome for the thousand and 1-th time and the Huns to thank for this scene. (I was just studying for a quiz. So shoot me.)**

Tony walked into the main room and was greeted with the sight of Loki and Bruce seated at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. It was a bit odd to see the god of mischief, who he had previously personified as "insane and evil" to be sitting at the breakfast table, dressed in 'Midguardian' clothing, and reading the New York Times.

"Morning all." Tony acknowledged the pair as he walked over to the pantry and grabbed a box of cereal. After finding a bowl and a spoon, he plopped down at the table next to Bruce. He peered over at the tablet that was next to Bruce's coffee and muffin.

"What are you so busy with that you're staring at it at the breakfast table?" he joked.

Bruce looked up.

"An email from a Dr. Samson. He works for S.H.I.E.L.D. He wants my help building a prison for gamma mutations."

"Does he want to put you in it?"

Bruce scratched his head. "I thought about it, but I don't think so. It appears that the jail is only for quote: 'unstable' mutations."

"Like Abomination?" Tony grabbed the milk from next to Loki and poured some into his bowl along with his cereal.

Bruce nodded. "Him, and all the others like him. Apparently there are a bunch.'

Loki broke into heir conversation. "Who is this "Abomination' you speak of?"

Tony rolled his eyes and began to eat his cereal. "Obviously you don't know everything about us." He said, mouth full.

Loki averted his eyes. "Please, Stark, have some manners. And is that… Lucky Charms?"

"And what if it is?"

Loki sighed. "You are so childish." Tony stuck out his tongue.

Loki shook his head as he returned to his newspaper. Tony looked down at his bowl to take another spoonful when he notices shooting stars flying out of his bowl and then arching back in.

"Very funny, Mr. Trickster god. Now who's being childish?"  
Loki grinned. "Ah, but Mr. Stark, you are missing the point. It is my _job_ to be troublesome and immature. Just ask Thor."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you have all these great buddy brother stories of the two of you growing up and making trouble. No need to rub it in the face of other people, not including, of course, certain only children." He lifted his bowl to his mouth and drank the extra milk. When he lowered his bowl, Loki wore a surprised look on his face.

"Are you…jealous, Stark?"

"Pffsh." Tony scoffed "Me? Jealous? Never."

"Really Tony? Cause it sounds to me like you kinda are."

"Bruce, stay out of this." Tony rose to put is bowl in the sink. "Anyway, along with all the fun stuff, I'm sure you have tons of embarrassing stories about Thor."

Loki chuckled. "More than you could imagine. The big oaf gets into enough trouble without my, er, help." Loki thought for a minute.

"This is a great story. One time, Thor and I were very young, and we decided we wished to receive more attention from my father. Not that Thor ever needed any more attention, but…"

20 minutes later…

When Thor finally showed up to breakfast, all the other Avengers (plus Loki) were sitting around a table laughing. When they noticed Thor standing in the doorway confused, they just laughed harder.

"Morning, Goldilocks," Tony finally called when he aught his breath. "Join us. Loki is telling us about all the times you screwed up as a kid!"

Bruce elbowed his fellow scientist. "That's not a very nice way to put it, Tony. But these stories are hilarious."

Thor seemed in good humor. "Well, when one's childhood passes at an Asguardian rate, you are a child for much longer than here on Midguard. We had much more time to make trouble."

Clint arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, but you weren't always a little kid. Loki told us that story when you had to wear a wedding gown and pretend to almost get married to get your hammer back. You weren't too young then!"

"Yes, and neither was Loki. Which means he should remember every detail. Including the part where he was forced to wear a bridesmaid dress." Thor gave a mock gasp of surprise at their dumbstruck faces. "I assume my dear brother conveniently left that part out."

Everyone around the table paused for a second before bursting out into peas of laughter. Loki groaned and put his head in his hands.

"Thor, was it absolutely necessary to do that?"

Thor grinned. "Absolutely. As your older brother, it is my duty to make fun of you. At least, more fun of you, than you make fun of me. And seeing as you have a bit of a head-start…" Thor put a pop tart in the microwave and sat down next to Loki, elbowing him slightly in the process.

Loki looked at him incredulously. "You, of all people, have learned how you use Midguardian technology?"  
Thor grinned at Loki's expression. "Yes. Do not act too surprised. It is not as complicated as it seems."

"That's not what you said when I was showing you how to use it." Tony muttered.

"I think we went through 3 microwaves before Thor learned not too blow them up before one minute was up."

"Technically, you and Thor blew the first one up just to do a 'science experiment'."

Clint brushed it off. "Details, details."

In truth, though they did not show it, the rest of the Avengers were awed by the easy exchange of banter that had just passed between the two brothers. It seemed as if there had never been any issues at all, no bad blood between them. They were equally floored by how _normal_ Loki was. He wasn't the same insane, homicidal maniac they had met the last time he was in New York. Granted, he had been under Surtur's influence, but _still_.

'Maybe living with him won't be so terrible after all.' Tony thought.

* * *

**I am so, so, so sorry this chapter is so short. but i just got finished celebrating part 1 of a holiday, and tomorow my family and our family friends are going on a trip to Newport, so i have no idea how much writing i'm gonna get done. then again, its a 4 hr drive each way. the upside to the drive is that i most likely convinced my dad that before we leave we should pick up the avengers dvd because my brother wanted to see it and he never did. when i asked, my dad said he's going to pretend that's my real motivation for wanting to buy it and not that fact that i want to see the movie AGAIN. i love my dad. anyways, even though, this chapter is so short, i am reposting a chapter i took down a while ago since loki was in it, and now the story is in chronological order. and when i was rereading the chapter i didn't realized that i left a bit of a cliffie at the end. well, not i shall provide the ending for that cliffhanger in the upcoming chapter. Woohooo! please review, because it makes me happy. i think that is a good enough reason.**


	8. sardines

**and here's the chapter that was originally chapter 2! enjoy! and feel free to send me ideas for pranks, because i'm open to all ideas, no matter how insane. don't forget to review!**

* * *

"Ha! I beat you all. Again!"

"Yes, Natasha, we know, you _always_ beat us at Risk. Stop bragging." Clint complained.

All the Avengers and Loki were currently seated around the kitchen table, playing Risk. Or they had been, before Natasha beat them.

"I tire of this game!" Thor shouted. "Let us play a different one."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Of course you would want to switch. I defeated you entirely after two rounds."

"I put up a formidable fight!" The god of thunder yelled.

"Who's idea was it to let the god who tried to take over the world before play Risk?" Natasha asked to no one in particular. Everyone ignored her.

"Sure you did, sure you did," Tony smirked. "But Thor's right. This game is getting boring. Lets play something else."

"We would, Tony" Bruce said, "but you don't have any other games here, and Fury isn't letting us out again."

Clint groaned. "Again? How big is it this time?"

Bruce consulted the monitor showing the security footage from cameras throughout the tower. "I'd say about fifty or so. And loud too."

"Don't they just ever give up?" Tony groaned.

This time Clint smirked. "I thought you loved the publicity, Stark."

"Yeah, when there's girls falling all over me wanting to sleep with me. Not this!" he pointed to the cameras.

They al knew what he was referring to. Ever since the story had leaked out that the Avengers were staying in Stark tower, they'd been mobbed, morning till night. They could rarely leave the building. But it wasn't the usual press.

"Why couldn't these kids just go back to obsessing over Justin Beiber? At least he's closer to their age!" Tony whined. He stared at the fan girls blocking the doors of his building. Some held signs, with different Avengers faces on them. Some wore Avenger t-shirts. All were yelling, screaming, and chanting.

"Who is this 'Justin Beiber of whom you speak?" Thor demanded.

"An 18 year old boy who sings and still hasn't grown up. There are tons of little girls who are obsessed with him." Natasha answered.

"Ah. Not dissimilar to the ones who chant outside our tower."

"Yes." Tony grumbled. "And it annoys me to no end. Why can't I use the pepper spray guns on them? Or even the water guns?"

"Because Fury would kill us if we did." Answered Steve.

"That was a rhetorical question Rogers."

"Oh."

"Hey guys, we still didn't decide on a different game." Clint said, changing the subject.

"How about hide and go seek? You guys all hide, Thor lumbers around the tower looking for you, and I go take a nap!"

"Stark, remember what Fury said. Team bonding time."

"Shut up, Barton."

"Hey that's actually not a bad idea! How about a good game of sardines?" Banner suggested.

Natasha stared at him. "You want to play with smelly fish?"

They all stared at her. "You've never played sardines before?" Tony asked, almost aghast.

"Even I have played sardines before! Loki and I used to torture the guards our father put on us to keep us safe. It is the best of games!"

Loki grinned. "Ah, those were fun. Sometimes they even had to get Heimdall to tell them where we were."

"But seriously, Tasha. Never?" Clint asked.

"Didn't have much of a childhood, remember?" Natasha whispered to Clint.

"Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry." He cleared his throat. "But anyway, this is how it works. One person hides, and everyone looks for them. Then, once you find them, you have to hide with them. First person to find them gets to hide."

"I have an even better idea."

"Stark, I don't like that look."

"Relax, Cap, relax. All I was going to suggest is that the person who wins the most rounds gets to pick dinner."

"I support this proposal!"

"Thanks, Thor. But you didn't need to shout. We're all right here."

"I guess that means I will play as well." Loki said, trying not to sound excited.

"I'm in." Clint said in a deep, serious voice that made Natasha snort.

"I guess I am too." Steve said with a sigh. "I haven't played this in years."

"Banner?"

"Alright, why not? I'm in."

"Widow?"

"C'mon, Tasha." Clint elbowed her. "It'll be fun."

"Oh, alright."

"Woohoo!" Stark cheered. "Now, who's first?"

"I am!" Thor shouted, as he sped off.

"Eh, doesn't really matter, this round will be over soon enough." Tony said, and the others nodded. They all knew about Thor's inability to keep quiet.

They waited 2 minutes before going in search of the demigod.

* * *

"Ok, so this wasn't as easy as I thought it would be." Tony admitted to Bruce and Steve a half hour later.

"No kidding." Bruce said. "Have Barton and Widow had any luck?"

"Nope." They'd broken into teams after the first ten minutes, realizing the game was incredibly boring when you're combing a building with 107 floors alone.

"Yeah, who knew Thor would be so good at this game?"

"Not me. Hey, have you heard from Loki?"

"Nope. Let me ask the others. Clint," Steve asked, pressing a finger to his earpiece, "any sign of Loki?"

"Negatory." Came the response.

"Man, I'm going to kill those two."

Meanwhile, in Thor's room…

"Brother, this is probably the best idea you have had all day." Loki said, as he drifted off to sleep on Thor's spare bed.

"Agreed. But we really have Stark to thank for this one."

Loki smirked. "Right. Remind me to thank him later."

"I will try, brother. Good night."

"Good night."

Needless to say, when the others found the two of them, an hour and a half later, they were upset.

"Can't believe them." Tony was muttering. "That was my idea."

"I can't believe I didn't think of it before." Bruce said.

"It's actually not a bad hiding spot." Natasha admitted.

"Now," Clint asked with a wicked smile, "how do we wake them up?"

"Bullhorn?" Tony suggested.

"Nah. How about tickle torture?" Bruce suggested.

"No. Remember how it turned out the last time we tried that?" Steve reminded them. They all winced. "How about the old fashioned way-buckets of ice water?"

"No, not good enough." Clint thought for a moment. "Aha! I've got it!" he whispered the plan excitedly to them.

Tony grinned. "You do realize Fury will kill us for this, right?"

Natasha snorted. "You of all people, are scared of Fury? And besides, it'll be worth it."

"Good point. Hey Bruce, check to make sure the surveillance camera is on. I've got to get something from downstairs."

A few minutes later, Tony was back, but he wasn't alone.

"Alright, keep quiet, and walk into that room. Then just do your thing."

A moment later, they all heard shrieks coming from Thor's room.

"OMG, its Thor and Loki! OMG! I can't believe it!" they saw camera flashes going off from underneath the door crack.

"What is the meaning of this?" They heard Thor grumble.

He flung open the door. "Son of Stark, I am going to kill you."

Loki was right behind him. "Who's idea was it?" he had a dangerous look in his eyes, and there were green sparks coming off his hands.

They all jumped back and pointed to Barton. "No, no, it was all Stark," Clint tried to stutter. Loki ignored him. Both his hands were now encased in balls on green light now. "I th-thought you couldn't use magic!"

"I cannot use detrimental magic. But a truth serum is not a harmful form of magic." Loki said in a dangerously low voice. "Usually."

"Umm, guys," Tony butted in, "hate to break up this love fest, but we still have company."

They all turned to stare at the three fan girls standing motionless behind them. Everyone stood there, not moving.

Tony broke the silence. "Alright you three, lets get you back down." He shepherded them to the elevator and sent them down.

Loki glared at the inventor. "You did fry their media chips on the way up, correct?"

"Yes, Loki," Stark sighed, "What do you think I am, an amateur?"

The god of mischief breathed a sigh of relief. "No, I'm am simply insuring that my sleeping face does not appear all over your internet tomorrow morning. As for you," both gods turned back to Clint.

"Brother," Thor put a hand on Loki's shoulder "we can deal with him a different time. I have a better idea."


	9. the story continues-the apology recal

**ok, so i wasn't planning on continuing this story. but in the last week, my story recieved more views and favorites than it did the entire time it was up. and since i just watched the Avengers with my family during family movie night and remembered its awesomeness (my mom called it drivel- i responce i said, (and i quote)-"you're killing my fandom!" she did't get it, and now thinks im even crazier than she did before), i have decided to continue this story! but not in the same vein it was in before. well, you can kinda tell what's gonna happen next by this little teaser that i'm posting now. this was something that i wrote a while ago and always meant to post, but never knew where to put it. but now i do!**  
**so here's a little preview. the next chapter shpuld be up tomorrow, if hurricane Sandy doesnt knock out my power. but the hurricane also means i have no school tomorrow-yay! and therefore more time to write for yo guys! so see you soon!**

**read, enjoy, and review!  
**

* * *

"It's ok boss," gasping breath "this was" wheeze "never going to work" another shaky breath "if they didn't have.."

Fury stood over Coulson's still body, as if waiting for him to continue. He didn't move until the medical team pushed him away from the body.

"Agent Coulson is down." He announced, knowing everyone who needed to hear him would through the communicators in their ears.

"A medical team is the way to your location." An agent said.

"They're already here." Fury said, his voice devoid of emotion. "They called it." He turned off the communicator and turned to the cleanup crew beside him. "Take it away from here. No need for anyone else to see it."

As Fury turned to leave, Coulson stepped out of the shadows, very much alive, and completely whole. "Thank G-d for those life model decoys." He said with a lopsided grin. "But why..?"

Fury barely looked at him as he walked hurriedly to the bridge to survey the damage. "You said it yourself. They need something to fight for." he stopped. "Agent, where are the trading cards you've been telling everyone about?"


	10. looking for Phil

**I am so, so, so sorry! this chapter was supposed to be up a week ago! but i live on Long Island, and got hit by Hurricane Sandy, who kindly knocked out my power till Wednesday, and my internet till Sunday. and then my school, inconsiderate as it is, decided not to cancel the major tests that we have this week, despite the fact that half of the kids in our school don't have power and are currently displayced all over the 5 boroughs of Manhattan, the 5 towns, and New Jersey. so i stayed up till who knows what time last night studing for a Algebra II test, which went fine today, thanks for asking. But I still have a Chumash (that's the Bible in Hebrew, for the majority of you who don't speak the language. and we learn it really in depth, and the class is murder) tomorrow and a chemistry test the day after. So i won't get much writing done. So I appologize in advance for the cliffie, but i didn't have enough time to finish it, and i just wanted to give you guys this update. This chapter was actually really hard to write, and has been taking a while. AND I'm supposed to be writing my 1,000 words a day for NaNoWriMo YWP, so that I can reach my goal of 30,000 words. Yeah, that hasn't been happening so far. Instead of 6,000 words, so far, I have 3,000. Not so good. So please yell at me so that I'll feel the need to write. I need motivation, people!**

**Please read, enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

* * *

The prank wars were well under way when JARVIS alerted Tony. They had been going on for about a week. So far, Clint's hair had been died pink, the captains punching bags filled with sand, Thor and Loki's capes were stolen and then returned ripped, and someone had put rainbow stickers all over Natasha's guns. Everyone fessed up to what they had done, or it was forced out of them. But they never did find out who dyed all of Bruce's pants green. And at the end of it all, Tony was the only one who went unscathed. No one was quite sure how he'd managed that.  
After the 1st week, Fury had nearly given up on them. That's when Tony made a joke that Fury would have to revive Coulson from the dead to keep them in line. And that's when they saw it. A little flicker, barely there, of uncertainty in the director's eyes. Almost regret. As if there was something he wanted to say, but couldn't.  
"Now that's unlike Fury," Tony thought absentmindedly. At first he brushed it off, but all throughout the day, the thought kept pestering him. He couldn't even concentrate on planning pranks, for G-d's sake! What was this world coming to?  
Eventually, he gave into the annoying voice in the back of his head, and let himself in through the electronic backdoor Tony had left for himself in S.H.E.I.L.D.'S computers and got to work. And after only 25 minutes, he found what he was looking for.  
Within 5 minutes, the entire team was assembled in the family room.  
"You found WHAT?" Natasha yelled.  
"I know, I know, I'm shocked too." Tony said calmly, "and right now all I want to do is take out Fury's other eye. But let's stay calm for a moment."  
The entire team was on different levels of shock. Steve looked like a deer in headlights. Thor was practically dancing around the room in sheer happiness. Natasha seemed to have tears in her eyes. Bruce was grinning from ear to ear, and shaking his head in slight disbelief, but didn't seem the least bit surprised. Loki, well, the guy probably didn't know how to feel. Loki had felt terrible about killing him but now that he might be alive?  
Suddenly, Natasha turned to Clint. He had sunken down to the sofa with his head in his hands. He was shaking, and heavy sobs wracked his body. Natasha sat down next to him, and put an arm on his shoulder. The archer looked up at her, his eyes filled with tears of joy.  
"Tasha," he whispered, "he's alive!" Natasha smiled back at him.  
"I know. Now let's get off our buts and go find your boyfriend."

The next few hours were a complete blur to Clint. He was vaguely aware of everyone piling into one of the Quinjets and flying towards the Helicarrier, which was currently stationed of the coast of Africa, dealing with a situation in Wakanda.

The plan was simple. They would fly directly onto the Helicarier, find Fury, and force the one eyed jerk to tell them where Phil was.

Phil. G-d, it had been so log. Clint remembered that awful feeling he'd gotten the moment he'd asked Tasha where his boyfriend was. They were on the Quinjet, on the flight down to Manhattan. When he asked, Natasha's face went pale. Steve, not realizing the full gravity of what he was about to say, announced frankly,

"Agent Coulson is down. Loki got to him."

At that, Clint had frozen and his hands went frozen at the controls. Natasha quickly put the plane on autopilot. It stayed that way until Clint was forced to return to the controls to land the plane. The rest of the time, Clint sat in a stupor, refusing to face the cold, harsh, truth.

Phil. _His Phil_. Phil he was gone. Forever. It simply wasn't possible. All this time, Phil was his only constant, when he'd come back from a mission, Phil would be there with a fresh mug of coffee and a welcome embrace. He would sit quietly while and patiently while Clint would rant about Fury, S.H.E.I.L.D., and basically anyone else involved in the mission that might possibly have done something stupid or annoying. Phil would help hide him from medical even if he really _did_ need the doctors' attention. Instead, the two of them would sit quietly on that couch in Phil's office. Clint would lay his head down on his lap, and the two of them would just sit there quietly while Phil stroked Clint's hair softly. He never told anyone, because it was pretty embarrassing. When Natasha walked in on them once, she just smirked, and walked out. She never said another word about it. That was only one of the hundreds of moments that were running through his head, all demanding to be listened to and remembered. All those perfect moments, all their time together. And now, Phil was just _**gone.**_

It was odd, fighting, without Phil's constant updates flooding the earpiece channel. To no go directly to his boyfriend's office right when they landed and stake out there until Fury dragged him to a debriefing. But he'd gotten used to it. Reluctantly. Natasha had forced him to move on after she found him in his room, surrounded by at least half a dozen bottles of scotch for the second night in a row. She was right, of course, however much Clint hated to admit it. But there was no way he'd be able function, living like that. So he'd moved on. Tried to forget him. But forgetting Phil- it was impossible. It was like trying to cut off a piece of yourself.

The stoic expression that he always seemed to be able to hold whenever he was working. The grin that broke through when Clint made him laugh, despite his attempt to be serious. The look of exasperation and fondness that followed the grin. His laugh, and the way his face lit up when he talked about his dad and his new girlfriend, and cellist from Portland. Phil's mom had passed away when he was a baby, and growing up, it was him, his dad, and three younger brothers. His dad had only started dating again recently, and he'd moved to Portland to live with his girlfriend who he'd met on the internet, not a week before the attack on Manhattan.

Somehow, Clint had managed to move on. And when Fury ordered the to Stark Tower, he was revived. Since the attack, every time he finished a mission, he would go home o a cold, empty apartment. The tower offered a distraction. It was constantly busy, there was never a dull moment. It seemed impossible to be alone in that place, despite its size. And that was just what Clint needed. And it worked. S the days went by, he found himself thinking about Phil less and less. He got wrapped up in the life of the tower- the pranks and crazy Stark-esque schemes, a whole different type of missions, and just having a new, if not beyond dysfunctional, family. The team was even convinced that he and Natasha had a thing for each other, which was beyond laughable. Natasha was like a sister to him, the little sister he never had. The thought of hooking up frankly grossed them out. It was fun watching the rest of the team try to interpret every innuendo; each mixed message they made sent on just to drive them nuts. But despite his newfound happiness, there was still an empty void in his heart, one that could never be filled by anything or anyone else. And then Tony showed them the video feed that JARVIS uncovered.

He still wanted to throttle to idiotic genius for making them watch the entire clip. Watching Loki stab the love of his lie through the back made his heart twist inside if him. He had been able to feel Loki shift awkwardly next to him, clearly ashamed and embarrassed. Clint ignored the obviously uncomfortably god beside him and focused n Phil's prone form displayed in brought Technicolor before him. He'd stared, slightly confused. Were those wires coming out of his body? And why was the med team simply dragging Phil's body away? Did the bastard have no respect for him? Those doctors were going to pay, he'd thought angrily. He'd turned to Tony, about to grill the idiot why the hell he was making them watch this. But Tony just pointed to the screen, and lint turned, just in time to watch Phil, perfectly healthy and whole step out of the shadows. What the f-in hell? Clint watched in shock as Phil turned to Fury and had an entire conversation wit him, as if nothing had just happened-as if Phil hadn't just DIED.

"Life model decoys." Tasha had muttered. OF COURSE! He was such an idiot.

Then the extent of what that meant hit Clint full force. His mind began to race a million miles a minute. Phil was alive! After these heartrenching past months, he was alive! Clint had sunk to the couch, and tears of joy streaming down his cheeks unabashedly.

After a moment, though, he'd composed himself. He knew just who was responsible for keeping Phil, his Phil, from him.

"Fury's gonna pay." He'd hissed, anger filling his eyes.

Apparently the rest of the team shared his sentiment, because here they were, cruising at 2,000 feet above the Atlantic.

"Helicarrier in 30." He heard Steve call fro the cockpit. Clint steadied his nerves. He was not going to let himself break down over this.

As soon as they landed, Clint was out of the plane and on the Helicarrier's tarmac, marching towards the bridge. As he walked, the team flanked him on either side; Tony and Thor on his right, Natasha, Steve, and Bruce on his left. Clint realized that they probably all did it almost unconsciously by now. It felt good to be surrounded by his teammates. He was going to be strong. He could do this.

They marched through the Helicarrier's many corridors. They passed dozens of S.H.E.I.L.D agents, all who looked terrified out of their wits to see the hailed Avengers on board, and looking angry. All except one that it.

"And _what_ exactly are you all doing here?" Maria Hill asked. She looked none to happy to see them.

"Hill, I like you." Tony said, taking control of the situation immediately. "I don't want to include you on my warpath of revenge that will start in about, oh, fifteen minutes or so. So if you would be a dear and just tell us when darling Nicky is and we'll leave you alone."

Maria looked at them, not impressed. But she jerked her head to the left. "His office is a few doors down that way. Try not to kill him. Without me being there to witness it, at least."

Tony grinned and Clint could have sworn that Tony _skipped_ the few feet to Fury's office, a gleeful smile on his face. Stark probably felt like a kid in a candy store- he was about to piss someone off, and people were actually _asking_ him to do it.

It was only after they walked into Fury's office that Clint realized that he'd never actually been in the director's office. He took a second to look around the room silently as Stark began his tirade.  
He had an impressive view. The shore of Wakanda sparkled beneath them, set aflame by the setting sun in the distance. The office itself was nicely sized, as offices on the Helicarrier. Phil's office was more like a closet.  
'Is'. Clint corrected himself mentally.  
Then he decided to tune back into Tony's rant, because it was probably drawing to a close by now.  
"How could possibly think this was a good idea? What good would ever come this? Did you think I _wasn't_ going to find out?" Tony raged.  
Ok, not done yet. Clint stared Fury, trying to gauge his reaction to all this. He sat there stoically, taking in the shouting with a complelty straight face- absolutely devoid of any emotion or reaction. What was this guy, stone?  
"So where is he?" Demanded Stark as he finished his speech.  
"And what makes you think I'm going to tell you where he is?" Clint stared at Fury. He was seriously not going to tell them?  
"I've had enough of this sh*." Clint said. He turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. He heard the entire team run after him. Surprisingly, it was Bruce who caught up with him first.  
"Uh. Clint?" He asked, slightly hesitatingly. "Why did you just run out of there?"  
"Because I'm not going to bother to wait for Fury's blessing." Clint practically spit, as he made a sharp left, turning onto yet another corridor.  
"Ok, I get that. But where are we goi-Oh." Clint had stopped in front of a door, which was seemingly identical to all the others in the hallway. But this door said "Coulson" on it.  
"You do think he's inside, do you?" Steve asked, having caught up to them.  
"I know he's inside." Clint said firmly, and pushed the door open wide. The rest of the team filed in behind him silently.  
And it was empty.  
They all stood there for a moment, not saying anything.


	11. Phil comes home

**Hey guys. Sorry about the delay. Getting back to school, tons of work, NaNoWriMo, all that stuff kinda pushed this story back a while. But I had a free period today, so I was able to type this up for all of you. Yay! Sorry this chapter is on the shorter side, but its still pretty long, I think, since it's 1,000 words. But after this, lots of fun action-y stuff! **

**And just one thing I think I should adress. Before any of you ask, I won't be writing any smut. Ever. Simply because A. I would be terrible at it. B. Just-I would feel awkward writing it, okay? Good. Now we don't have to discuss it again. (Sigh of relief) **

**Hopefully I'll update this again sometime next week. **

**Read, enjoy, and please review!**

**P.S: Just a side note, in case any of you were wondering, I'm going to mention it later in this chapter, but the reason I kinda just dropped Loki halfway through the last chapter was because I figured he would feel awkward on the helicarrier, so he stayed home. Just in case you were wondering.**

* * *

"He's not here." Clint whispered, almost inaudibly.

"I'm sorry buddy." Tony said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I really thought..." Clint nodded. He knew Tony must have felt pretty awkward, if he was even bothering to apologize.

"It's ok." Clint said, and let out a slow, shaky breath. "I knew it was a stretch." Clint sat heavily on the couch, staring at the empty seat beside him. He didn't even bother trying to disguise the longing in his gaze. The excitement, anticipation, nervousness, and then the crashing let down left him completely drained.

"Do you think he's going to be okay?" Steve whispered to Bruce, who shrugged. The two of them hung back at the edge of the door, wary to step inside.

"Who's going to be ok?" A new voice asked. The pair whirled around, almost guiltily. But when they saw whom the voice belonged to, their jaws dropped.

"Coulson?!"

"Well, you are standing in my office." The agent in question said dryly, all to calmly for someone who allegedly had just returned from the land of the dead. Phil stepped around the two awestruck men at the doorway and walked into his office.

"Stark, what are you-" Phil voice stopped abruptly in the middle of his question. His face turned white, and he took a step back.

"Phil?" Clint cried, and jumped up. In response, Coulson drew his pistol. But despite his steely expression, Natasha noticed that his finger shook on the trigger.

"Agent Romanov, Stark, please move back so that I can deal with the hostile. I appreciate your help in apprehending him, but I can take it from here. This man is a S.H.E.I.L.D fugitive, and very dangerous."

Clint was taken aback. "Phil, what did they do to you? What did they tell you?" Clint's voice was barely a whisper.

"Agent, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Stark, weren't you _there_? Agent Barton was compromised by Loki. He is wanted by SHIELD and is most likely unstable. Please step away."

"Coulson." Natasha pleaded. "I don't know what kind of bull Fury's fed you, but Clint isn't under Loki's control anymore. He was only under his spell for those 2 days. We got him back after the fight on the helicarrier."

Phil tried to keep his cool demeanor, but Steve could see the trickle of sweat dripping down the back of his neck.

"No… Somehow, Loki got all of you." He turned around rapidly, jerking his gun to point at all of them in turn. "How did you even get in here? You're don't have clearance to be on this side of the helicarrier." He was obviously trying to sound intimidating, but his voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

"Phil, look at me." Clint's voice was pained. "My eyes aren't blue anymore- I'm not under anyone's spell. I helped fight on _our_ side during the Battle in Manhattan. Loki's good now too, he's also on the team. He just didn't want to come back to the helicarrier. Someone, I'm not sure who, has been manipulating you. They're not telling you everything. And they told us-" he swallowed hard. "Phil, they told me you died."

Phil's eyes softened slightly, and he snorted. "Died? You can't get rid of me that easily." Clint looked confused for a moment, and then grinned and Phil lowered his gun and put it back in its holster. "I don't know that's going on here, or why the hell Fury's lied to all of us, but- God, Clint, I've missed you."

The two embraced and promptly forgot that there was anyone else in the room. Steve shifter uncomfortably, face bright red, and kept his eyed trained on the floor. Tony raised his eyes at Steve's obvious awkwardness, but then promptly ignored Bruce, who had stuck an impatient hand out at him. When Bruce didn't move the outstretched palm, Tony sighed, pulled out his wallet, and handed the doctor a twenty. Natasha glared at the two of them. Tony smiled back at her sweetly, batting his eyes.

After a few more minutes of letting the couple enjoy themselves, Tony cleared his throat. "Alright kiddies, I hate to break up this little love fest, but we gotta skedaddle. Let's blow this clambake!"

Phil and Clint pulled apart, reluctantly. Phil looked slightly embarrassed that he'd displayed his emotions so openly. Clint just smirked.

"What is this 'clambake' you speak of? I do not understand. Are we going to make something explode?" Thor asked with glee. Steve face palmed.

Suddenly, the intruder alert alarm began ringing around them.

"Better late then never. Alright team-move out!" Tony bolted out the door, and everyone else followed.

The newly reunited couple ran side by side. "Where are we going?" Phil asked as they ran down the various hallways on their way topside, for once not in complete control of the situation. Clint grabbed Phil's hand while they ran. "We're going home."


End file.
